Three Wedding Lies from Romantic Comedies

Las VegasHold onto your seats, because we’re about to hit you with a truly surprising revelation. Romantic comedies don’t always accurately represent what it’s like to be involved in a relationship. I know, I know–we’d love to live in a world where you can stand outside your beloved’s house with a boom box and have her be charmed instead of calling the cops. But in the real world, hardly anything goes the way it does in romantic comedies, and that includes weddings. Here are a few examples:

No One’s Going to Object (The Graduate, Made of Honor)

We all know how the story goes. The bride and groom are just about to get married, but right before the pronouncement that will officially wed them, the officiant asks if anyone has any objections. Someone stands up and gives a heartfelt speech, and boom! The wedding’s off.

But in actuality, hardly anyone goes for the “speak now or forever hold his peace” bit at the wedding. It’s just inviting one of your comedian friends to throw in an ill-timed attempt at being funny. And presumably if someone did have an objection, they’d take it to you in private instead of torpedoing the wedding. But just to be on the safe side, skip straight to the “I now pronounce you” part.

Your Bachelor/Bachelorette Party Doesn’t Have to be a Blow-Out in Vegas (The Hangover, Bridesmaids)

We don’t know who started the idea that bachelor/bachelorette parties have to be weekend-long, extravagantly expensive affairs, but let’s bring things back to earth, okay? Your friends love you. They’re happy you’re getting married. But they probably can’t afford to take a long weekend to fly to Vegas for your bachelorette party like they do in those romantic comedy movies.

And even if the cost isn’t an issue, that’s a pretty serious time and effort commitment to ask of people who are going to also spend time and money helping put your wedding together. Especially if you’re one of the last to get married, and everyone has spouses and kids in addition to full-time work. No one’s saying the party shouldn’t be all about you–but maybe keep it to one evening or at most a single overnight close to home.

The Credits Don’t Roll (Pretty much every romantic comedy)

So you’ve had your picture-perfect wedding, even though the mother of the bride tried to nose in on the preparations, and the groom got lost on the way to the church, and one of the bridesmaids got food poisoning and threw up on the officiant. But it all came together in the end, and as you go off to live happily ever after with your new spouse, the scene fades to black and the credits roll.

Even though we know intellectually that life doesn’t stop right at the wedding, that fade-to-black is so engraved in our minds from years of pop culture that it’s hard to think past it. In reality, what happens is you go sign the wedding certificate, head off to the reception…and then the credits also fail to roll as you leave the reception and hop in the limo. Instead, you now go off and have an actual marriage with your new spouse. Despite what pop culture tells us, the wedding is the beginning of the story, not the end as romantic comedies would have you believe.

There’s nothing wrong with a good romantic comedy. But it’s good to stay grounded when you’re putting your wedding together and thinking about your life after the big day. No matter what Sandra Bullock or Julia Roberts try to tell you, getting married is nothing like it is in the movies.

Five Amazing Wedding Venues Around the Globe

Disney World WeddingUnless you’re reading this in your second home in the Swiss Alps while your butler irons your underpants, I’m going to ask you to join me in daydreaming for a while. What if your wedding was a globe-trotting affair held at one of the planet’s most recognizable and renowned locations? Where would you love to be when you say those vows? We took a look at some of the most famous wedding venues around the world and are presenting them here, along with the cost for holding your wedding there.

The Great Pyramids

They’ve stood in the Egyptian desert for thousands of years, and now they can be the backdrop for your nuptials. How many people can say they got married next to one of the Seven Wonders of the World? Osiris knows you’d end up with some great photos.

The Cost: $4,200 for a gourmet wedding buffet, cake, photographer and DJ. Up to 100 people can join in the festivities.

Disneyland

Sure, you could go for a small destination wedding-style ceremony on Main Street. But we’re going to go ahead and say you go big or go home. Have an evening ceremony after the park closes in Sleeping Beauty’s castle. You’ll start with a drive up Main Street in Disney’s parade vehicles, then party with Mickey and Minnie at your reception, which will be held in the staging area of It’s a Small World.

The Cost: While Disney weddings start at $8500, the ceremony we just described will run you a cool $120,000, plus accommodations for your guests and food for the reception. But hey, we’re dreaming here, right? And a dream is a wish your heart makes.

Burj Al Arab

You know that sail-shaped building you see in every shot of Dubai? Yup, that one. You can get married on the helipad at the very top of the building with up to ten guests (the maximum capacity of the helipad). For a paltry additional fee, you can even arrive at the wedding by helicopter (or by road in a Rolls Royce Phantom).

The Cost: Compared to Disney, it’s a song: $55,000 for your 55 minutes atop the most luxurious hotel in the world. But hey, what else could you spend $1,000 a minute on?

Auchen Castle

Sure, getting married in Sleeping Beauty’s castle is great and all, but what about tying the knot in an actual centuries-old Scottish castle? Auchen castle’s packages include accommodations at the castle itself, Scottish pipers, cake, et cetera. Oh, and one particular thing you won’t get anywhere else: live, trained owls will deliver your rings to the ceremony.

The Cost: A mere 3,580 pounds, or under $6,000 American. And did we mention, because we really want to drive this home, that LIVE TRAINED OWLS deliver the rings?

The Great Wall of China

If the pyramids of Egypt aren’t quite enough of a wonder of the world for you, you can have your wedding ceremony on top of one of the largest structures ever made by man. The ceremony accommodates up to 40 people and can be seen from space (no, not really).

The Cost: At $5,000, this is cheaper than a lot of wedding venues that aren’t global architectural treasures.

Now, odds are you’re not going to drop $120,000 to get married in Sleeping Beauty’s castle. But if your budget allows for it, any of these destinations would certainly make for a ceremony you’ll never forget–or top, for that matter.

Awkward Moments to Avoid at Your Wedding

Garter TossYour wedding day is going to be one of the most memorable days of your life. You’ll be looking your absolute best, you’ll proclaim your love for your partner, and then you’ll dance the night away. It’s going to be awesome. Provided, of course, you avoid a few traps that can turn that awesome day into a cringe-worthy event. Here are four awkward moments that can happen during a wedding and how to avoid them.

The Garter

In the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Fifteen, isn’t it mystifying that we still do the whole garter thing? It’s a tradition that started back when people would rush the bride and rip off her dress, leaving her in tears and barely dressed. I guess we’ve made some progress since then, but here we are: every wedding, the groom goes up the bride’s dress, pulls off a garter, and tosses it to the crowd.

Avoid it by: Just don’t do the garter toss. If you absolutely must do it, have the groom remove the garter in a little private couple time before the toss. If you absolutely must have the groom remove the garter in company, at least don’t make him use his teeth.

The Kiss

Your first kiss as a married couple is a super-romantic moment that should make the whole audience swoon. But if the kiss goes on too long or is, shall we say, a little too enthusiastic, suddenly you’re playing tonsil hockey in front of your parents and grandparents. Then it goes from “awe” to “awkward.”

Avoid it by: Of course we’re not going to suggest that you skip the kiss. Just keep it sincere but brief. No tongues and no butt-grabbing.

Drunken Speeches

There’s nothing wrong with a heartfelt wedding toast, or speeches from the happy couple’s parents. But when someone’s had a little too much to drink, that hilarious roast speech can turn nasty, and the heartfelt speeches get weepy and unintelligible. Most people are unaccustomed to public speaking anyway; add too much alcohol and it just gets worse.

Avoid it by: Having a dry wedding with no alcohol served. Just kidding! You can’t stop people from getting a little tipsy, but you can have the speeches before dinner, before people have had a chance to really hit the bar.

Rhythm-Challenged Guests Attempting to Dance

Let’s face it–folks over 35 or so probably aren’t hitting the club on a regular basis. You’re going to see a lot of people dancing who don’t frequently dance, and they’re not going to be very good at it. Expect a lot of awkward feet-shuffling, and then the one wacky uncle who is ironically attempting to break dance.

Avoid it by: well, you can’t really avoid it. So you might as well embrace it. As long as your guests are happy and having fun, and no one’s in immediate danger of injuring themselves, you’re doing fine. Just try not to judge the bad dancers.

Do your best to avoid these awkward moments, but definitely keep in mind that awkward moments are bound to happen during even a very well-planned wedding ceremony. A few little glitches will make the whole thing more memorable for everyone involved. So plan to avoid the awkward, but don’t be too upset if a few awkward moments sneak in anyway.

Unconventional Wedding Color Schemes

Orange and Teal Wedding ColorsFinding the perfect wedding color scheme can be tricky for a couple who aren’t graphic designers or home-décor gurus. With the entire rainbow (and every shade in between) to choose from, getting that perfect palette that sets the mood and doesn’t clash can be a monumental challenge. It’s tempting to play it safe with pinks and purples, but if you’re looking for something a little more striking, give these unconventional color schemes a try.

Teal and Orange

For a summer wedding, especially if it’s a beachfront ceremony, take your color cues from the sea and sunset. These two colors look great together: the contrast between the cool blue and the warm orange is truly striking. Consider tiger lilies or marigolds for the bridal bouquet, and have the bridesmaids’ dresses alternate between the two colors.

Black and White

For a really impactful color scheme, why not try no colors at all? A simple black and white palette can look chic and clean when it’s done properly. Dress the bridesmaids in little black dresses, give the bride a bouquet of calla lilies, and keep the groomsmen looking sharp in tuxedoes with black bowties. It’s an unconventional choice that has a minimalist elegance to it. Bonus: your wedding reception will feel like a glamorous cocktail party.

Pastels

For a spring wedding reception, ditch the bright colors and go for pastels in all colors of the rainbow. Robin’s egg blue, pink, lavender–just a hint of all of the colors will look fantastic together. As a bonus, you don’t have to dress your bridesmaids in identical dresses; let them each pick a pastel that suits them and they’ll look fantastic. Same goes for the groomsmen’s bowties and/or cummerbunds.

Silver & Gold

Have a luxurious-looking winter wedding with silver and gold highlights throughout the ceremony and reception. There’s a sparkling, effervescent property to silver and gold; definitely don’t skimp on the glitter when you’re decorating. The colors together give a hint at a holiday theme without being kitschy; they have a little New Year’s Eve feel and just a bit of Christmas to them as well. You can even use silver and gold Christmas ornaments to make your table centerpieces.

Red White and Navy

At first blush, it may seem like a red, white, and blue wedding will look a little too 4th of July to be tasteful. But replace that bright blue with navy, and it goes from patriotic to homespun rustic simplicity. For a down-home wedding, this color palette will blend in seamlessly with the mason jars and wildflowers you’re using for decorations.

If you’re still looking for color palette inspiration, there are plenty of tools online for discovering colors that go great together. They’re intended for graphic designers or interior decorators, but they’re great for putting together a wedding palette as well. There are some tools that allow you to experiment from scratch by combining random colors while others come with preset themes to help you coordinate. With a little trial-and-error, your wedding color scheme will look fantastic.